2003-08-18 - 2:03 p.m.
*
*
*
Belmonaut: if he starts shit up again, I'm belmonaut.diarylanding this shit so fast his pubes will grow in
The best words to use on someone are their own. - Me
In the course of my doodlings on the internet, I have come across many places that are comedy based. My site is not one of them, despite the vain attempts on my part to infuse telling what happened to me in a day with some humor so as not to bore the shit out of you. Despite failing at this, there are people who do attempt with their fullest ability to be hilarious and witty and crack a smile on your face in all their HTML glory, for the hope that you accept them or think highly of them or whatever.
http://colossus.blog-city.com is one of these sites. It, however, is painstakingly not funny, as if planned out to be funny to be covertly unfunny so that it is funny all over again enough that it is absolutely unfunny.
To save you the agony of even bothering with the link, this blog is just some kid IMing people under the terribly unrealistic character Colosus, a Russian mutant from X-Men who is really strong and can make some sort of metal skin protect himself when he feels like it. He IMs people until they either give up caring about this kid annoying them and block him or they get really insulted with what he is saying and they block him. He doesn�t, however, take well to anyone bothering to put up a struggle or actually pay attention to him, because he just IM�d me last night and boy, was I really interested in talking to a complete stranger who was so pissed off that I insulted his terrible site that he had to find me on the internet and threaten to kick out my teeth, which would never happen since he has no idea where I live and would probably have to get his license first before he could drive to come and get me.
In February, which is a good half a year before this post, I got drunk one night with my housemate Stevo and he showed me this site because one of his friends was insulted by �Colossus� and basically we were bored and felt like dumping on this pile of shit.
It should be well noted ahead of time that I hold no claim that this site is of any good quality whatsoever, so any marks against this site, being as its only a diary, don�t even phase me. This is a losing battle to begin with.
So this boy got his panties in a twist because people don�t appreciate him annoying other people and I personally couldn�t understand his true genius. His true genius of course being annoying on the internet. Well, since this site is not funny and I had the pleasure of discussing the dos and don�ts of comedy with a true genius, I feel as though I should take a stab at some comedy today, using our conversation as a basis. Normally, whenever I post an online conversation I�ve had, I take out the other person�s name so as to give them their privacy, but since this fucker came after me for posting a comment on his terrible website, he doesn�t get that luxury. Do with his SN what you will � he probably would do it to yours anyway.
THE ONLINE CONVERSATION BETWEEN BELMO AND (I think his name is Rob) ROB
Backstory: I had just gotten back from Erin�s house after meeting her whole family, during a party in which it rained all over a BBQ and lightening zapped out the lights in the house for the second time in the past 5 days. It was interesting. At 1 AM, I sit down at my computer and see a fairly urgent sounding IM of �IM me when you get back in later� from Shadrac19, a name I have never seen before ever. So, I respond with:
Belmonaut: who is this
______________________________________________________________
Auto response from ShadRAC19: I am away from my computer right now.
______________________________________________________________
ShadRAC19: Hey
Belmonaut: hey
ShadRAC19: Got a question for ya
Belmonaut: ok
*************************************
At this point, this question could be anything from anyone and I really had no idea what was going to come from this and honestly, I was about to go to bed because I thought I had to work today and I really didn�t. But I didn�t just want to blow this person off�.
*************************************
ShadRAC19: How long did it take you to write this:
ShadRAC19: You infantile little shit. "YOU'RE A TUB OF HURT?" how good of a joke is it when you have to underline the emphasis of your joke to try to even JUSTIFY comedy? I hope that Slayer kid and all the other fuckers you decide to completely annoy with a childish sense of humor find where you are and annihilate you, then underline all of their laughter just so you get it. Just so you get the fact that you're a stupid, useless, television washed fuck face and that no one likes an asshole with such a poor sense of humor. Do us all a favor and learn to go fuck yourself, then actually do it.
Belmo
*************************************
Now, I was damn tired and I had no idea at that point where he was quoting from, because if it was here, it could have been from well over 340 different posts and those span back at least 3 or 4 years and I couldn�t possibly remember everything I�ve ever said in any of my posts, a problem which leads me to contradict myself at points in the diary. This isn�t because I want to be hypocritical, it�s just that you change as a person and at certain points you feel one way and you feel different at other points and I write in this diary when I feel exceptionally emotional about something, whether good or bad, and that tends to put either a positive or negative slant on what I write, positive or negative outside of my actual beliefs on a matter. But this isn�t about me�.*************************************
Belmonaut: not too long
Belmonaut: why
ShadRAC19: Just wondering because they're pretty big words from such a piece of dogshit such as yourself
Belmonaut: yeah it happens
Belmonaut: us pieces of dogshit get lucky sometimes
ShadRAC19: See, I tried to find out if you could back this up by looking at the stuff YOU'VE written and see if it was better than Colossus
ShadRAC19: Turns out it wasn't :-(
*************************************
At this point, I realized I wasn�t going to get to bed any time soon, because if I just signed off, I�d be pissed I was told off by some fuck who I had no idea who he was and I wouldn�t sleep anyway. This was someone I had �wronged� and they were out to let me know about it, but I still had no idea who this Colossus guy was at this point, and even now, I can only guess that the whole time, it�s this kid�s character. He later on denies that he writes for the site, then claims it�s his site and never admits that he is or isn�t colossus. He also admits to never having even read my stuff and if he did, he probably only read the last few posts and those were to explain that I�m writing a novel and to not expect me to write here too much. Oh well, too late for that. The writing he is talking about is IMing people and putting a few nonsensical rants that are gibberish, such as the following excerpt:
HEY IT IS ME COLOSSUS AND HOW BOUT THEM METS??!!! I DUNNO I DONT REALLY FOLLOW FOOTBALL
ANYWAY WHAT IS GOING ON HUMAN PEOPLES I HAVE NOT BEEN AROUND LATELY BECAUSE MY GRANDMOTHER IS SICK :( BUT ITS OKAY BECAUSE WE ARE ALL EXPECING HER TO GO TO HEAVEN VERY SOON AND BE WITH THE ANGELS BUT NOT ARCHANGEL THAT PIECE OF CRAP HES A POOR EXCUSE FOR A SUPERMUTANT
BUT OH WELL HERES WHATS BEEN HAPPENING LATELY!!! LETS START WITH A PRACTICAL JOKE
COLOSSUSkILLz: HAR HAR HAR HERE IS COLOSSUS IM READY FOR ACTION!!!!!
BeautifulBri00: who are u
COLOSSUSkILLz: COLOSSUS AND IM READY
BeautifulBri00: ready for what
COLOSSUSkILLz: I JUST TOLD YOU DIDNT YOU LISTEN??!
COLOSSUSkILLz: ACTION!!!!
COLOSSUSkILLz: YOU ARE RETARDED GOODBYE
BeautifulBri00: FUCK YOU
Stunning. He makes a bad X-men joke, makes a bad sports joke and believes that calling people retarded after swamping them with huge blue capitalized gibberish is comedy. If anyone has ever read Something Awful.com before, you�d immediately recognize this style of comedy as a knock off of JeffK, only if JeffK wore a Colossus costume and wasn�t funny.
*************************************
Belmonaut: its quite the shame
ShadRAC19: Sure is
Belmonaut: I'm sorry to have wasted your time
ShadRAC19: Oh, it wasn't a waste of time
Belmonaut: ok
ShadRAC19: What WAS a waste of time was imagining you with no teeth
*************************************
Now, honestly, let�s get somewhat serious here. I do realize this person gets his jollies being ridiculous (we discuss it slightly a little later) but let�s have some hold on reality. This kid has never met me, never seen me, will never do either. He has to be young and stupid, because he went to the trouble of looking Belmo up on the internet and finding me, then IMing me so that I could IM him back at his away message, which was fake because he almost instantly IM�d me back as soon as I wrote hey on the screen. He was probably sitting by himself in his room, waiting for someone to talk to and had to settle on harassing me for a while. It�s a good thing I have thick skin. And apathy.
*************************************
Belmonaut: it kind of looks like I look now, but a lot less teeth
ShadRAC19: Not a lot
ShadRAC19: Just 3 or 4 less
ShadRAC19: So tell me, is this what you do?
Belmonaut: ehhhh thats kind of a lot
ShadRAC19: Go around to blog sites and speak your small mind?
Belmonaut: actually I think that was the only time I did that
ShadRAC19: So what do you have against Colossus?
Belmonaut: oh nothing
ShadRAC19: Is the humor way above your head?
*************************************
Hold there, sunny jim. Is an immature internet prank over my head? Well, let�s take this IM conversation I once had (hint, I AM A CPU NINJA:
IM A CPU NINJA: hello
Person I Annoyed: who is this
IM A CPU NINJA: you have a skull for a buddy icon
IM A CPU NINJA: you should get a ninja
Person I Annoyed: ok
Person I Annoyed: and this is
IM A CPU NINJA: they are super cool
IM A CPU NINJA: <--------
IM A CPU NINJA: I am a cpu ninja
Person I Annoyed: who are you?
IM A CPU NINJA: a cpu ninja
IM A CPU NINJA: I have stealth and cunning
Person I Annoyed: very funny
IM A CPU NINJA: I can do ninja things
IM A CPU NINJA: like throw throwing stars
Person I Annoyed: how about ur real name
IM A CPU NINJA: * * * * * *
IM A CPU NINJA: Ninja McNinja
Person I Annoyed: alright wise ass
IM A CPU NINJA: I'm a very highly respected ninja
Person I Annoyed: thats nice
IM A CPU NINJA: no its super duper rad
Person I Annoyed: and does the ninja have a real name
Person I Annoyed: or is he make believe
IM A CPU NINJA: he's make believe
Person I Annoyed: then vanish
IM A CPU NINJA: I'm an imaginary ninja that can use a cpu
IM A CPU NINJA: I still see your skull icon is there
Person I Annoyed: yes and
IM A CPU NINJA: it should be a ninja
IM A CPU NINJA: do you hate ninjas? is that it?
Person I Annoyed: no i don't hate them
IM A CPU NINJA: ninjas are very fun loving people
Person I Annoyed: but ur anooying me
IM A CPU NINJA: ninjas are incapable of annoance
Person I Annoyed: and people that annoy me don't live long
IM A CPU NINJA: and we spell terrible
Person I Annoyed: no matter what they know
IM A CPU NINJA: I know that a ninja icon would be perfect for you
IM A CPU NINJA: waaaaaaaaah
IM A CPU NINJA: I'm a gentleninja but I'll still warn you
Person I Annoyed: a gentleman
IM A CPU NINJA: no
IM A CPU NINJA: I am no man
Person I Annoyed: is not a little bitch
IM A CPU NINJA: I am a ninja
Person I Annoyed: goodbye
Person I Annoyed: ninja my foot
IM A CPU NINJA: you have ninja feet?
Person I Annoyed: cause i am going to kick your ass
Person I Annoyed: good bye
Person I Annoyed signed off at 6:32:31 PM.
And you�ll plainly see me using a character to instant message someone and annoy them and do a damn good job of it. Your humor isn�t even your humor. Harrassing people using instant messages is as old as instant messages.
*************************************
Belmonaut: well I'd have to see exactly what I was writing about
Belmonaut: I tend to get pretty confused quick
Belmonaut: tell me something
ShadRAC19: Those with half a brain usually do get confused pretty fast
Belmonaut: how long were you waiting for me to come back online to tell me this?
ShadRAC19: You mean while I was gone for 2 hours?
Belmonaut: because honestly, this is pretty late to have to ball someone out about writing something stupid on your webpage
Belmonaut: and if my writing isn't up to par with your writing, I don't feel it necessary to kick my teeth out for it
Belmonaut: I'll just have to write better
ShadRAC19: You don't feel it necessary to kick your teeth out for it
ShadRAC19: Okay, bud
Belmonaut: not particularly
Belmonaut: it seems a bit extreme
ShadRAC19: Do you still want me to fuck myself?
Belmonaut: see, I'm sure it might actually be fun, but in particular, not really
ShadRAC19: I mean, I certainly thought about myself as a stupid, useless, television washed fuck face and that no one likes me
ShadRAC19: I have no sense of humor
Belmonaut: I have no sway either way at this point as to the fucking or not fucking
Belmonaut: well I see
ShadRAC19: Since you know me so well
Belmonaut: yes
ShadRAC19: How old are you?
*************************************
I felt this to be a little unnecessary. It didn�t matter how old I was, because even if he was older than me, he�s acting too young for his age. If he is older than me, he should be ashamed of himself for whining like a little bitch because some drunken idiot like myself got a hold of his guest book and put something meagerly insulting. Honestly, these are the other posts from there and I don�t even hold a candle to them:
AVISITOR MADE THIS POST:
Hey you DUMB FUCK, you dumbass ignorant piece of shit, you dont know motha fucken shit about comic books. Colossus was the pussiest Xmen of em all. Colossus was a fucken faggot who couldnt even hold the bargain of bein an Xmen. Also, how many sick fucken scumbags do you know who stalk women on the internet just because you wouldnt know a real woman if she hit ya in the fucken face so you pretend they are in some fucken first grade comic book. Your waist of fucking human oxygen, find what your really worth meaning go drown yourself in a fucken vat of sewage or battery acid. Never seen such a pothetic excuse of life ever. Take that girl's advice, before you go drown your sorry ass in the other people's shit, make a trip to the loony bin, you sick, twisted, ignorant piece of shit.
Intelligence
My spell checker exploded when it read that. The other post directed Shadrac19 or colossus or whoever this is all about to his blog, which wasn�t all that good either. He just felt insulted by everyone telling him to just fuck off and he couldn�t find anyone but me to take it out on (he admits this later).
*************************************
Belmonaut: pieces of dogshit have psychic abilitlies
Belmonaut: does it matter?
ShadRAC19: I just wanna see who's calling me an infantile little shit
Belmonaut: ok I'm 45
Belmonaut: nonono 34
Belmonaut: wait, I'm 60
*************************************
I�m 22. My birthday is April 4th, 1981. Send me a card next year.
*************************************
ShadRAC19: Yeah pal, you're hilarious
ShadRAC19: Wanna write for my site?
Belmonaut: nah just tired
ShadRAC19: I can't do it myself, obviously
Belmonaut: well considering writing for your site is IMing people and harrassing them, I think you're doing just fine
ShadRAC19: And you obviously have a problem with that
Belmonaut: no
Belmonaut: but why did you have a problem with me harrassing you
Belmonaut: I dont see how it doesnt work the other way
ShadRAC19: Big difference
Belmonaut: and honestly, I don't even remember when I did this because I was probably drunk
ShadRAC19: My way was harmless interaction based on the fact that most people are inclined to cry and block people on AIM these days than play along with it
ShadRAC19: Like a normal person
*************************************
Normal people don�t bother caring about people leaving shitty guestbook entries either. I didn�t care that he posted that I�m a cocksucker or whatever he put. It was the moment that he put the effort in to finding me on the internet and IMing me to confront me as to why I think he has a terrible site that made me write this. Normally I would not have cared. I already have gotten plenty of hate email for this site not to care anymore. But this could not go unabated.
*************************************
Belmonaut: and I'm really sorry that this gave you a real hurt
Belmonaut: I see
ShadRAC19: I, on the other hand, am miffed at your comment which shows nothing constructive
ShadRAC19: Yeah, real hurt
Belmonaut: so you prey on innocent people until you badger them incessantly until they block you
Belmonaut: well, you seem pretty upset about it
ShadRAC19: I prey on them?
Belmonaut: "miffed" even
ShadRAC19: Like I'm a wolf and they're chickens or some shit?
Belmonaut: nah, like you're bored and they're there
ShadRAC19: You got your shit mixed, pal
ShadRAC19: So?
Belmonaut: well how do you go about finding these people
ShadRAC19: Who cares? Point is, I do it
Belmonaut: ok
ShadRAC19: And I think it's funny
ShadRAC19: Lots of other people think it's funny
*************************************
Lots of other people must not like signing guestbooks or leaving comments. The only comments I found were people cursing this kid out. Maybe voices in your head count as people in your book, but if you think a room full of you and 5 friends giggling around a computer monitor and you having to tell them to quiet down or your parents will wake up is a lot of people, then I feel even more pity for you. And because a lot of people think you�re hilarious means nothing to me. It just makes me feel sad for even more people than you.
*************************************
Belmonaut: well at times yet
Belmonaut: *yes
ShadRAC19: And to sum it up, you're retarded for nothing thinking it is
ShadRAC19: *not
*************************************
He had to edit his insult. That alone made me start laughing out loud for the first time during this conversation. And he claims in a brief sum up that I�m retarded because he�s not funny. That�s like claiming the entire country is retarded because you don�t understand Tom Arnold�s brand of humor. I mean, did you SEE Jingle All the Way? At this point, I was giving him an ear to his complaints, but once the whole �GUHHUGHH You�RE a ReTArd BEcAuse YoU Made FUN of MEEEEE� whining started to come out, I basically was prepared to keep this kid online until the sun came up, because I wanted him to suffer as long as I could make him suffer. I wanted him to forget my IM name. I wanted him to look up at the clock after pounding on keys for an hour and say �why the hell did I even bother?� I basically wanted to waste his time for my own amusement. And it worked.
*************************************
Belmonaut: I'm retarded for not thinking your pranks are funny?
Belmonaut: how old are YOU?
ShadRAC19: 17
Belmonaut: thats fantastic
ShadRAC19: Oh, I know
Belmonaut: so because I don't think you're always funny, its my fault
Belmonaut: it has nothing to do with you actually not being funny
ShadRAC19: Nothing's your fault here, bud
ShadRAC19: I just figured I'd dish it back
*************************************
Of which you dished nothing back but I�m a retard and you�re going to (hypothetically) kick my teeth out
*************************************
Belmonaut: oh its ok
ShadRAC19: Yeah
ShadRAC19: I know it's okay
Belmonaut: I actually appreciate it
ShadRAC19: Yeah, you're definitely welcome
Belmonaut: because honestly, it makes me think more of you now
ShadRAC19: Awesome
ShadRAC19: Nobody has annihated me yet, btw
*************************************
I AM THE ULTIMATE HTML CHAMPION! BOW BEFORE SHADRAC19�S AOL FURY!!!!! SMITE ME WITH WORDS ALL YOU WISH; IT DOES NOTHING, BTW! I CAN RULE WITH A SARCASTIC FIST ALL WHO WISH TO CRUSH SHADRAC19�S REIGN!
*************************************
Belmonaut: you can cross off useless and television washed fuckface off the list
ShadRAC19: *annihilate
*************************************
oh that�s right. You spelled annihilate wrong.
*************************************
ShadRAC19: They all thought it was funny
Belmonaut: I'm not trying to annihilate you
Belmonaut: I wasn't even then
Belmonaut: I'm just trying to understand you
ShadRAC19: And odds are, anyone you thought I was "annoying" was probably a friend of mine anyways
Belmonaut: well see I dont know these things
Belmonaut: you don't write "this is my friend I'm annoying":
ShadRAC19: Then why are you posting faggoty comments on my site?
*************************************
CLUE YOU�RE UNDERAGED AND IMMATURE #456: insulting the other person�s sexuality will get you anywhere you want in terms of annoying someone. Calling their actions gay in turn is the ultimate insult and cannot be beaten by any other insult.
*************************************
Belmonaut: because I found it funny at the time, same reason you ragged on all those people
ShadRAC19: I'd rather you mind your own fucking business than post ANY comment
*************************************
MEH MEH MEH MEH MEH MEH MEH MEH, if we�re still being immature about it.
*************************************
Belmonaut: looking back, I dont think its all that funny, but thats the past and you move on
ShadRAC19: If you found it funny at the time, why'd you write "How good of a joke is it when you have to underline the emphasis of your joke to try to even JUSTIFY comedy?"
Belmonaut: well you posted at my site, so I think we're basically even at this point
ShadRAC19: I mean, you're retarded
Belmonaut: oh
ShadRAC19: I didn't leave such "constructive suggestions" as you did, though
Belmonaut: I thought that it was funny I had to wear a helmet to school
Belmonaut: you have set me straight
ShadRAC19: Yeah alright
ShadRAC19: You can crack wise, but you're still a dipshit
Belmonaut: I'm deeply impressed that you went to the trouble of finding me
Belmonaut: now I'm a dipshit?
Belmonaut: I thought I was just retarded
ShadRAC19: I didn't even notice it until today
ShadRAC19: Yes
ShadRAC19: Both
Belmonaut: I'm a retarded dipshit
ShadRAC19: THERE YOU GO
*************************************
HE HAS TRIUMPHED YET AGAIN BECAUSE I HAVE ADMITTED I HAVE AN EXTRA CHROMASOME AND I AM SHIT DIPPED IN SOMETHING! All my base are belong to him.
*************************************
Belmonaut: is this going to show up on your site
ShadRAC19: Hey, let's nix retarded
ShadRAC19: We'll just call you a dipshit
Belmonaut: that would be super
ShadRAC19: Since you caught on so well
Belmonaut: I hope it does
Belmonaut: and if anything is missing, I'll post it on my site
*************************************
I debated whether or not to post this and in the end, I decided that to not post it is the true crime. You see, if he becomes upset because I have posted an IM conversation where I am basically wasting as much time as I can for the sake of wasting time, then he will have become angry at his own craft and therefore, make me grinning proud because it will show him exactly how unfunny it was for the other IMs he did. If I never posted this, I could never give him his medicine. So I felt compelled to. We now return you to the current cut and pasted IM conversation, already in progress:
*************************************
ShadRAC19: I don't even write on the site anymore, fag
*************************************
Why, I have just been accused of Faggery for the second time. You know, that huge cock in my ass this morning did seem a little peculiar? I was wondering all day what that was all about. Thanks, little man. And by the way, why defend a site you don�t even care about anymore?
*************************************
Belmonaut: and we can be siet buddys!
ShadRAC19: Go ahead
ShadRAC19: Rock on
Belmonaut: oh I dont even care
ShadRAC19: Then shut up
ShadRAC19: Stop talking to me
Belmonaut: are you going to kick my teeth in if I dont?
Belmonaut: or maybe call me a retard?
______________________________________________________________
Auto response from ShadRAC19: I am away from my computer right now.
_________________________________________________________
*************************************
So he runs away. I wasn�t done with him, so I tried to think of a few things to get him to come back, without getting him really upset so that he just flatout blocks me and prevents me from any more fun period.
*************************************
Belmonaut: I can see why no one has annihilated you
Belmonaut: because no one cares
ShadRAC19: What?
*************************************
He suddenly was no longer away. All you have to do is tell someone that no one cares about them and that will get them to come shooting back for more
*************************************
ShadRAC19: That makes no sense
ShadRAC19: Is that supposed to be insulting?
Belmonaut: no
ShadRAC19: Whew
Belmonaut: why are you still talking
ShadRAC19: Because obviously you decided to ramble
ShadRAC19: I can't?
Belmonaut: oh you can
Belmonaut: I was just wondering why
ShadRAC19: So explain to me why my site isn't funny
ShadRAC19: Then maybe I'll leave you alone
*************************************
He had just told me I�m completely unfunny and a retarded, gay, dipshit and he wants my help. GEEE-SUS.
*************************************
Belmonaut: I thoguht you didnt write there anymore/
ShadRAC19: It's still my site
*************************************
Now things have changed. So he runs a blog for someone else to enter submissions for and�.no I refuse to allow this lie to go on. I highly doubt that he opened up a site at blog-city.com so that someone else can use it. Anyone who would believe that deserves to be pranked by this kid. He was upset because I posted something at his site and he is trying to be like �YOU GOT A PROBLEM WITH MY FRIEND?!?!? MY FRIEND IS THE BEST WRITER EVER!� I�m sorry, sunshine. That just doesn�t fly with me.
*************************************
Belmonaut: well I just dont see the humor sometimes in harrassing people online unless you really get them going
Belmonaut: see, there are some points where it is funny
Belmonaut: and then theres points where you're just trying way too hard and simply just annoying someone and all they do is gee frsutrated
Belmonaut: *get
ShadRAC19: That's still funny
Belmonaut: you have to really dig into them and then I find you funny
Belmonaut: ehhhh annoyance is only so good
ShadRAC19: Alright smartass
Belmonaut: you have to own them
*************************************
Like I�ve owned you for a while. You even went away and came back for more. And I�m not out to impress my 5 friends with this. I�m out to make myself laugh. THAT�S what I was talking about. I basically told you everything I did to your face. God, I hope you�re reading this�
*************************************
ShadRAC19: Tell me how I can get under their skin before they decide to block me?
Belmonaut: see thats the thing
Belmonaut: there is no one way
Belmonaut: each person is different
ShadRAC19: Yeah alright
ShadRAC19: So far your suggestions are garbage
Belmonaut: and if you can keep them from blocking you by gaining their trust or anything, then its worth the work
Belmonaut: thats why my work isnt as good as collosus I guess
ShadRAC19: Yeah, and all the while still staying in character
ShadRAC19: That's ridiculous
*************************************
Funny. This one conversation is about as long as all of the ones on your site put together. Seems to be working just fine.
*************************************
Belmonaut: well I cant help you
Belmonaut: maybe make your character not so ridiculous
ShadRAC19: Yeah
ShadRAC19: Ridiculousness isn't funny
*************************************
This is what I was talking about. He seems to get his kicks on ridiculousness. He wants to be as ridiculous as possible. The fact that he bothered to bother me is ridiculous enough. I ain�t worth shee-it.
*************************************
Belmonaut: if someone is expecting to be made fun of or pranked with a far too ridiculous IM they'll just block you
Belmonaut: ridiculousness is funny
ShadRAC19: No shit
Belmonaut: too ridiculous is overkill
ShadRAC19: That's what makes Colossus so awesome
*************************************
You can hear the sound of someone patting their own back while, simultaneously, sucking their own cock with a grin on their face.
*************************************
Belmonaut: and overkill is not funny
ShadRAC19: There's no overkill
Belmonaut: well you're asking someone you just called a retarded dipshit for advice
Belmonaut: what does that make you?
ShadRAC19: Well if you don't find it funny, OBVIOUSLY you have some sort of helpful suggestion, wiseguy
ShadRAC19: You know...to make it funny...so YOU will laugh
Belmonaut: I just said I thought it was sometimes not funny
Belmonaut: and I havent really been back to it in a while so you can possibly be really funny now and I would have no idea
Belmonaut: practice makes perfect and I'm sure you've had plenty of that
ShadRAC19: Even if it was only half-funny when you read it, there was no reason for you to leave that comment
ShadRAC19: None
*************************************
WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! WAHHH HAH HAH HAH HAH! CLUE YOU�RE UNDERAGED AND IMMATURE #278: crying over insignificant things.
*************************************
Belmonaut: okokok
ShadRAC19: You get to voice your opinion...this IS a free country
Belmonaut: are you sure you're just miffed about this
ShadRAC19: But in that way, you're asking for it
Belmonaut: you seem a little more upset than miffed
ShadRAC19: Dude, I'm not about to get sidetracked here
*************************************
NO! NO! YOU WILL NOT CLOUD SHADRAC19�s HEAD WITH REASON!!! NO!! SPEAK NOT OF THIS SENSICAL TALK! NO!
*************************************
ShadRAC19: I'm going to bed in a minute
*************************************
this is an absolute lie. He went to bed maybe 15 minutes after he said this. And I�m sorry I kept you up�wait, no no I�m not. Go to bed, little man.
*************************************
Belmonaut: I just went back to what I wrote
ShadRAC19: Congrats
Belmonaut: and you're more upset about what I wrote than what everyone else wrote?
ShadRAC19: Oh, I'm pissed at everyone
Belmonaut: someone called you a waste of human oxygen and they spelled waste wrong
*************************************
That was the guy who signed his name Intelligence. And he just openly admitted he�s pissed at everyone. HE�S MAKING A LIST AND CHECKING IT TWICE MOTHERFUCKERS, JUST LIKE BATMAN!
*************************************
ShadRAC19: But you were dumb enough to leave something I could track
Belmonaut: dumb enough or I don't give a shit enough
Belmonaut: because I really dont give a shit
ShadRAC19: No...dumb enough
Belmonaut: oh ok
ShadRAC19: Yeah
ShadRAC19: You got it
Belmonaut: its dumb enough then
ShadRAC19: I do feel bad though
Belmonaut: so how did you track this?
ShadRAC19: Your diary is much better
*************************************
See, attacking my diary is like taking a bag of my old garbage and stomping all over it in an attempt to make me angry. It�s all my old stuff and to mock it will get you nowhere but in it.
*************************************
Belmonaut: I didnt leave a site to go to
ShadRAC19: I looked up "Belmo" under Google
Belmonaut: oh
Belmonaut: yeah that will do it
Belmonaut: I think you think I think my diary is funny
Belmonaut: I actually dont try to be funny in my diary
ShadRAC19: Or stupid
Belmonaut: because its my diary
Belmonaut: and its just my thoughts
ShadRAC19: Cute
Belmonaut: but I will tell you one thing
ShadRAC19: Go for it
Belmonaut: this is the longest I've talked on instant messenger in a long time
Belmonaut: thanks
ShadRAC19: I'm honored
Belmonaut: oh its no honor
ShadRAC19: Oh it is
Belmonaut: it just takes talking
ShadRAC19: I'm honored
ShadRAC19: Whether or not you like it
Belmonaut: wow, you're seriously honored and shit
Belmonaut: I better like it then
Belmonaut: it makes it easier
ShadRAC19: Easier?
ShadRAC19: Were you gonna finish that sentence or can I just finish it myself?
*************************************
THESE are insults/threats? �You going to continue speaking or will I have to speak and totally speak the hell out of you?� God, I hope you�re reading this�.
*************************************
Belmonaut: well if I didnt like it, I'd have to be annoyed that you did feel honored and thats just annoying in itself so I'll just like it instead
Belmonaut: but seriously sunshine, are you, in actuallity, collosus?
Belmonaut: I'm dying to know
ShadRAC19: Too bad you didn't die wanting to know
Belmonaut: well thats just unneccessary
ShadRAC19: Yeah
ShadRAC19: I'm like that
*************************************
QUESTIONABLE ANSWER #1: SHADRAC19: �Yeah�- does this allude to the him being colossus remark or to him being unnecessary? Only someone who cares will ever know.
*************************************
Belmonaut: see there you go being unneccessary again
ShadRAC19: Yeah
ShadRAC19: RE: I'm like that
Belmonaut: you're like re
Belmonaut: shouldnt you be in bed? its like 2 AM
Belmonaut: shadrac19 who is 17
ShadRAC19: I'm really not 17
*************************************
QUESTIONABLE ANSWER #2�: SHADRAC19: I�m really not 17- maybe he was trying to get me to say a/s/l? Maybe this guy is some sweaty 40 year old bachelor jerking off to stileporn.com while he pauses long enough to write replies to insulting IMs and try to lure unsuspecting people into cybersex with him? At any rate, I didn�t care if this was my fucking grandpa in the next room playing games with me. He was acting younger than that even and someone who runs a website dedicated to talking like a comic book character in hopes that they can get a laugh out of harassing people online had better be at least 17, or it�s sweaty internet sessions for you down the road, buddy.
*************************************
Belmonaut: I dont want to make you sleepy headed
Belmonaut: psssssst
Belmonaut: I'm realy not 60
ShadRAC19: !
Belmonaut: see
Belmonaut: thats funny
Belmonaut: thats what you have to do more often
ShadRAC19: Be specific here
Belmonaut: !
ShadRAC19: Again, I'm honored
Belmonaut: it didnt work that time
Belmonaut: but when you did it, it was hilarious
*************************************
he fails to catch the sarcasm here, but I didn�t bother explaining it. Maybe it�s for the better.
*************************************
ShadRAC19: Gee, at least you think a small percentage of me is funny
Belmonaut: I think its the blue letters before that does it
Belmonaut: the red ones take away
ShadRAC19: Yeah
ShadRAC19: I hate you
*************************************
Success! He fucking hates me. Fantabulous. Holy shit, fantabulous passes my spell check. I guess Intelligence�s posting has broken it.
*************************************
Belmonaut: there you go being unneccessary again
ShadRAC19: There you go being a dipshit again
Belmonaut: well I never stopped that
Belmonaut: you'd have to stop that before you can do it again
Belmonaut: are you really 19
ShadRAC19: No
Belmonaut: shadrac19 who is 17 at first but denies it and is another age
ShadRAC19: HEY THATS ME
*************************************
CAPTIAL LETTERS = FUNNY (for a perfect example of this, please go to Something Awful�s JeffK and absolutely nowhere near colossus.blog-city.com).
*************************************
Belmonaut: thats a long namee
ShadRAC19: I'm reading your diary
ShadRAC19: You try and be funny, liar
Belmonaut: but not as the basis for my diary
Belmonaut: its boring if its not ALL not funny
Belmonaut: how much have you read so far?
ShadRAC19: It's too bad I didn't read it before I IMed you
*************************************
This is where everything he has previously said falls on it�s face and dies. He didn�t even bother reading any of my site. He probably read the first page and flamed my guestbook because I didn�t use a character voice or whatever he was looking for and then waited in the digital bushes outside my digital house until I came back from being away and wondered who the fuck shadrac19 is.
*************************************
Belmonaut: oh I honestly couldnt care
Belmonaut: you seemed to have such high ideas about my site anyway
ShadRAC19: I would've realized by your material how hypocritical you are by saying I'm not funny
*************************************
And I present this statement with absolutely no grounds or examples whatsoever, from the first 3 pages out of the almost 400 there are. God, I hope you�re reading this�
*************************************
ShadRAC19: Goodnight, man!
Belmonaut: yeah well thats the trouble with a diary that you write in when you're charged about something
ShadRAC19 signed off at 1:49:19 AM.
And that�s about it. I�ve also put the entire conversation Here so that I don�t show any form of editing or anything. I had to make it a doc file because the file server I use doesn�t upload html for some reason but anyone who wants an actual html version if they think that my hands have tampered with it in any way is entitled to it. Just ask me for it.
As for this kid, I don�t know if I�ve done anything for him. He could have just left well enough alone and just hatebombed my guestbook and left it at that and I guess things would have been fine. I got him, he got me. One guestbook for another guestbook. But, when someone goes psycho stalker on me and starts looking for me on the internet and threatens me bodily harm that is merely empty threats over the internet, I can�t help but feel as though you�re just asking for trouble. Remember, you came to ME at first and decided to IM me with threats and insults. I may have posted shit in your comments because I was trashed and bored, but that doesn�t mean you have to blow a fuse about it and I hope you learned your lesson. I�m sure this was a very unfunny entry at Belmonaut.Diaryland today, because I have been told that I�m very much not funny and that someone who picks on girls with an online mutant costume, which is like hiding behind two walls and yelling insults to people who can�t see you, is far better than I will ever be or ever hope to be and that I should just go to hell and die. Because I am worthless.
Put that in your pipe and smoke it.
BMC
What did you just say? - What's he gonna say next?
