2003-05-04 - 4:03 p.m.
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Help, I've fallen and I can't get up
"In the mountains of New Hampshire, God Almighty has hung out a sign to show that there He makes men." -Daniel Webster
That sign fell off the "face of the earth" as it were. That face of the earth was the Face of the Old Man. New Hampshire, you are now officially and completely worthless. It should be noted that the last words of the Old Man weren't "I've fallen and can't get up" but in fact were absoulutely nothing.
Rocks can't speak, stupid.
I'm posting for the first time in a real long time, well real long time for me. I'm in the computer lab failing miserably at trying to try to do work, and I'm really nervous, because this is for the last research paper that I will hand in for a grade. Tomorrow, I write the last critical essay I will write in my life for a grade and next week, I'll take the last test I'll take in my life. The last cafeteria meal I'll ever eat in my life was Friday. The last school-sponsered "end of the school year" concert that I'll ever attend was yesterday...
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Jurassic 5 = kickass live show that was clouded by shitty sound, which held a bonus source of entertainment because the sound guy running around and doing levels was wearing a UMASS Lowell sweatshirt. I shit you not. I wish I had a camera to take a picture and remember such an event, but alas, cameras were not allowed inside of NAZI GERMANY, which was cozily placed into the Plattsburgh State University Fieldhouse for a couple of hours yesterday.
and Third Eye Blind = band I didn't bother to wait to see how they were. DO NOT GRADUATE! is not what I want to hear two weeks before I do so. Good thinking, Student Association. As if I'm not worried enough whether I'm getting out of here or not, now I have washed up glorified two-hit wonders yelling it at me that I won't. Give me my SA fee back right now if that's what you consider a good idea.
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The last class I'll ever cut was on thursday and this I know because I don't have any more left I can afford to take in any class I have. The last Sunday I'll go to sleep in an intoxicated haze and wake up fucked as hell on Monday with is....
Tomorrow is the last Monday of classes....holy shit.
I'm seriously fucking done with this shit. I've done it. I've beaten you, education. You gave me a run for my money, let me tell you that much. I thought for sure you had me 2 years ago, when I floundered just to stay within the failing out of school area of grades. I thought you had me for good there. Now look at me. I'm done with you. I even get some ridiculous big red robe and they'll hand me my receipt for the last 16 years of my goddamn life battling you and swinging at you and I'll do a goddamn cartwheel when I go across that goddamn stage and I'll laugh and cry at the same time, tears streaming behind me like rain as I laugh so hard my face becomes as red as that gown and cap they've handed me. I'm going to absolutely maul you, education, when it's all said and done, getting out of here with at least a 3.0 and I'll wave that receipt all over the country, putting it in every mailbox in America, especially those of my future, my slavery. I have beaten one of my captors only so I can embrace the arms of my next one. Oh, it really doesn't matter. One day, I'll have shed the cage of institution, retreat to the hills and begin writing everything my brain can give me and I'll be completely and utterly free, not free like this, not still caught behind the fence, to watch the world outside of it buzz and dance while the flourescent hum above my head drones on like some AM radio news report. I won't have the restraint of money because I don't need a lot of money to write things. In fact, I need very little. I'm still the victim of the insurance and the taxes and the mortgage and the kids' things and the gifts and the rituals but when those are all gone, I'll just have me, I'll just have the absolute freedom that tricks you into thinking you're absoulutely free.
It's all so fast, I feel like I'm going to collapse like an old man.
BMC
What did you just say? - What's he gonna say next?
