2003-05-06 - 5:41 p.m.
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Just keep reading
It took 6 or 7 clicks to enter this screen. I don't want to have to get a gold membership on this shitbox to drop my mind just because someone needs to upload pics of them in satanic poses, weeping and holding up a small puppy and a knife with Heinz ketchup on it, or upload another animated gif of Gir from Invader Zim rolling across their page. There are a ton of really nice diaryland diaries out there, but for the most part, I've found that most pages run the gambit from the lowest depths of Geocities hell to the finest piece of HTML coding seen on any monitor anywhere and the latter is hard to find.
This site is an absolute piece of Geocities bullshit. I slapped a picture of a stick figure riding a hippo and wrote my name on the formula for THC. All I need is flaming eyeball skulls laughing repeatedly out into infinity with a Beatles midi playing in the background like a bag full of cats being pulled through a hole in a fence for all eternity and I'm set. I already have the bland white text with black background, something that was "cutting edge" when the first people who wrote HTML up did it, because everyone knows paper is white and ink is black or blue or anything but fucking white because putting white ink on a white piece of paper is the job of retarded people. But OOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, put that white ink on black and OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CUTTING EDGE! THESE WORDS ARE CUTTING EDGE! BE DAZZLED AND BEDAZZLED WITH A BEDAZZLER OF SHOCK AND AMAZEMENT! YES, THE BEDAZZLER! THE ONLY THING MORE WORTHLESS THAN A POCKET SEWING MACHINE!
In case you didn't know, a bedazzler was one of those things that they sold on ONLY TV (or the dirty back shelves of a Wal*Mart or K-Mart....you know, those places are absolutely worthless) that could easily do something with dazzling things and....you know, I don't even remember what the fuck a Bedazzler does. I'm sure it's pointless after 5 minutes, much like those clothes ink pens were. How many different times can you write "Jessica" with a heart for a dot on the I before your mother wants to kill you for putting big pink and neon violet letters on all your designer clothing? Then again, if you bought and/or used a Bedazzler, it's safe to say your family also had no interest in designer clothes.
This is not a bad thing. It's never a bad thing when you don't have interest in paying $30 for a white t-shirt, 45 if some jackass decided putting "Princess" on it was a good idea.
I'm just killing time here, people. You might say "where's all the regular malarky that stinks this page up? where's the constant hypocritical battles, where one minute love is shit and then WOAH! I'll flip it on you now because someone is interested in my smelly ass, or where's the overly unneccesarily drawn out rantings over some mundane and trivial aspect of life that then gets given pages upon pages of code to appear on some sub-par piece of shit diary?" Well, I don't really know where it went. Maybe it got stuck underneath all this talk about talk, all this empty empty and vacant talk, all these words thrown here just to take up space on some invisible stretch of the information superhighway. Who even reads online diaries anymore? I'm surprised I'm still writing in this.
THERE YOU GO! That last sentence was a shout-out to normal Belmonaut.diaryland.com hoopla, the good ole "guuuuuuuuuuuuh what am I doing here on this site puuuuuuuuuuuuh" You can almost hear the drool splash on the keyboard through cyberspace, but the (droolonthekeyboard) splash (/droolonthekeyboard) command isn't working right now and besides, it's certainly not as powerful as the (blink) (/blink)(sic) feature.
Yes, I'm aware of the parenteses instead of the whole greater than or less than symbol. That's what (sic) means. I can't just open up the awesome power of blinking text at will, just as a demonstration. I don't even think that is even a tag you can use anyway and if it was, what's so half-important that you should only be able to read it at 1-second intervals? I mean, I know it could be IMPORTANT information that you want everyone to see, but that's the fuck why you do this.
I'm procrastinating and pushing about 5 papers off to the legendary tomorrow, forgetting that it is forever Today and that tomorrow only comes never. You will never reach tomorrow and you can't go back to yesterday. Even tonight only works at certain hours of today because you can talk about what you're doing tonight, but you're not doing anything IN tonight until it's nighttime.
I could have written about 2 paragraphs on Heart of Darkness in the time it took me to write that and you to understand that. For the dumb people, I probably could have re-written the book.
This is the slow collapse at work here. This is what a brain looks like in word form as it deteriorates slowly from sitting in a box full of boxes full of people all blankly staring at boxes with boxes on the glassy box with the button that turns it on. This is the slow bleeding process that words escape in, the slow trickling of ideas and absolute empty symbols, a bunch of symbols trying to shorten the amount of time grunting and pointing at something or drawing it out would take. Even then, how many times to words always work? The answer is none. Words only work when the symbol is understood. Pyrunia? See, that word doesn't even mean anything. I'm pretty sure I just made it up and if it does mean something or it is some place or something, then I didn't even mean it anyway because I was trying to prove a point. And if it means something insulting, then YEAH YOU'RE DAMN STRAIGHT I MEANT THAT, YOU PYRUNIC MOTHERPYRUNER! Oh yeah, I'm dropping jibberish (gibberish? jib-brrr-esh? jeaberash? who knows?) and I'm doing a damn good job and by the way, you've been reading a bunch of shit for the past however and how does it feel to know you scrolled that bar down or hit that arrow key all those times and the only thing it got you was knowledge of the fact that you did absolutely nothing of merit for the past godknowshowlong.
And all those people who just rolled the screen down with their mouse rolly thing - no one likes a showoff. "WAH WAH WAH, I didn't use the arrow, I didn't use the bar. I ROLLED IT DOWN! I beat you! I beat you!" Keep this in mind: if that was actually what you thought, or even remotely close to what you thought, or if you could imagine thinking it or if you thought about that you did it after I pointed it out and THEN said nah nah nah nah to me, keep in mind you're feeling triumphant for rolling a piece of rubber on a piece of plastic attached to a box full of silicone. You didn't cure SARS, you didn't beat the world record for eating the most hotdogs, you simply were lazier than anyone else who scrolled down the page. And also, you're trying to outsmart me while reading an entire page worth of shit. The fact that you may have even read all of that description as well tells me that in the game of outsmarting someone and making them eat shit because you outsmarted them, I've already won without doing anything but tell you you're a retard. Thank you for playing. Keep reaching for the stars, happy boy (or girl. There ARE retarded girls).
And to all those I offended and who feel hurt for wasting their time, I say to you "Why get hurt now?" How has it taken THIS LONG for you to be insulted? I've been posting in this thing for over 2 years; didn't you get the hint after the first few months? Shit, there's probably close to 300 other entries for you to waste your time with. Don't stop now, sunshine! You can complain about it 300 times over! You too can kill yourself slowly without realizing it. All you have to do is know how to read and operate a computer!
Ok, I think I've taken this far enough because even I'M getting annoyed at this and I'm the one writing it. In all honesty, this is exactly how I feel about writing English papers. Not only is everything I'm going to say going to be an empty resplashing of ideas already staked out by everyone who came before me, but it will say just about as much as I have in this: nothing. I'll be typing 20+ empty pages of absolute excrement and utter vomit because someone got the whim to assign it. Just what didn't the last 20 years of students miss that I could possibly touch on in my paper? How bored are the professors with life where THIS is what they do for fun? Seriously, you reading this and judging it (because you do...) is all they do, all they have to look forward to. All they know is that they have another 600+ pages of papers to look at this semester and that they have to get there fast.
They have to read the same "Joesph Conrad was a great author because Heart of Darkness was blabbity blooooo..." and like it because if they don't, that's when the guns and knives need to be locked away.
When I leave, I hope they all wipe their asses with my papers so they could at least put them to SOME use.
BMC
What did you just say? - What's he gonna say next?
