2002-12-22 - 2:09 a.m.
*
*
*
I'm the MULLET MAN (MULLET MAN!)
"We were going to play a slow song but we said aw fuck it. This one is our Christmas song and it's called Trip Down to Hell!" - the lead singer for None More Evil. He then proceeded to sing a song after that song called Mullet Man, where he threw mullets on a few people and sang "Feel the power of the mullet."
So this weekend has been a bunch of crazy shit. I hung out at Stingers, a bar in the town next to mine, and saw EVERYONE. When I say everyone, I mean people I haven't even seen in years. I saw Mal and we were supposed to hang out today but fucking didnt happen. Ehhhh. Nothing like that ever does for me. But seriously, it was pretty interesting seeing some people who I've never seen in the same room together hanging out. It's kind of disturbing to see how much things have changed between me and other people here though. I've been so long removed from the whole Lynbrook scene and I'm sure it's no biggy, no beef or anything silly you can call hostility, but I've totally been flipped on my head as to who I'm chill with and who I'm not. Not even a matter of chill, just who will do me more than the "what's up....nothing much....me neither...yeah" that is about 40% of all conversations I've had lately. "So what's new?" You can answer anything for that question. I don't do it to be a nosy fuck or annoying. I do it to see if anyone is doing anything with themselves. I also do it to hear a story, because if you give any sort of damn about someone, any story is a good one. It could be "ohh, my tooth is killing me. It sucks." and it fucking obliterates "same old same old". When someone tells me that nothing is different, that nothing new has happened to them, first off I know they are lying and just don't want to talk. Not that people do anything all that exciting. At this point in life, you're either working or going to school. Later in life, you're either working or doing absolutely nothing with yourself, sitting at home and rotting away. Or you're out changing the world. I've never seen anyone tell me something along the lines of the third one, because if they were out changing the world, what kind of fucking time would they have to talk to me in a goddamn bar?
I also hate the "dating" scene here. As in there is none. Aside from the perpetual boyfriend and girlfriends (the couples that are welded together) almost none of my friends are dating. They are DATING but they don't have some kind of steady. Just steady sex. This isn't a bad thing. Sex is good for you. AS long as it's not dangerous. But don't replace actually looking for someone who clicks with you with "she added to the list of the girls that I done been in". Go out and find something. Go and get someone. Don't get someone and someone else and someone else. Even if it's for only a short time, I don't really think it's that bad to even have the LIKES for someone. Like hasn't been used by someone since Alf was on TV, but you can LIKE someone, date them, find out whether or not you love them or not, if you don't then leave. IF not, then you've found someone you love. I don't know, maybe because I've walked away from that whole mess of worrying about this or that when it comes to relationships, I have no frame of reference anymore. I can't really be much of a reliable source for dating seeing as I haven't done any myself in a while, but then again that was my own choice...sort of. Not to say I could have any girl I wanted (which is possibly the furthest goddamn thing from the truth. In all actuality, I'm surprised ANY girl wanted my stupid ass) but I've given up even being Dateable looking. I've stopped trying to make myself look a little better so that perhaps one person will see me and go "Oooooooo!" I don't know. It's all very confusing and no one knows what the fuck they're really doing it seems. Sure, some people are running around with goddamn sex falling out of their damn pockets it seems, but I wonder how fulfilling it is when that jizz is spent, when that orgasm is over, when you have to wake up and go home and wonder where it all ends up. Does it feel great? Does it make someone feel fulfilled to hop from person to person on their dick like some kind of sex pogostick? I could honestly tell you I would hate that shit, playing and macking and fucking flossing your shit just to grab a hold of a handful of ecstasy for one night, maybe a few at the most and then go to the next one. It might be fun, but I can't see it being fulfilling. Eventually, it won't even be personal anymore. It will be like brushing your teeth. "Hmmmm, did I get my blowjob today? No? Well I better get started if I'm going to go to bed with drool all over my dick."
Aside from all that, I've really got to see another side of Long Island that I didn't realize until I was taken out of it. Long Island is too motherfucking expensive. HAnds down. Bar none. Goddamn 3.50 for a bottle of beer. At the price of two beers I could have had a 12 pack. The trick is to get drunk cheap before you go out and then when you get there, you can drink the nightcap drinks to finish out the night smoothly. That's just fucking stupid. If I'm going to go out drinking, I want to go out DRINKING, not sit around somewhere and get shitty, then go out and finish myself off. I know I pregame a lot upstate and then go out, but there are actually nights where I just want to leave the house, go out and sit at a bar, watch 10 different sports channels at once, drink myself dumb for under 15 bucks, stagger home and crash. For me to go out and pull a Plattsburgh night on Long Island would probably cost me triple digits. No joke. When you get pitchers of beer for $1.50 at a bar that charges no cover charge, even when they have live music (which is more or less every night) up in Plattsburgh, to come home to this is unsettling. Just what makes this place so great again? I seem to have lost that gung ho feeling about this sandbar. Sure, there's so much that makes sense here than other places, but it's SO GODDAMN EXPENSIVE. I was talking about this with Mehr and I thought about it and the only reason is that it's so close to NYC. NYC is fucking dead. Not in the sense that two planes knocked out NYC's two front teeth kind of dead. It's motherfucking dead. Every good show venue that I dreamed of getting drunk at when I turned 21 has dried up. The streets are safer, but there's less interesting things to do. It costs 15 times more for goddamn EVERYTHING YOU CAN THINK OF. And it's all because it's in NYC. Go to Boston. Sure the place closes down too goddamn early, but it's cleaner, it's safer, it looks better, it's not so goddamn busy or overrun with problems. It's a nice city. Seeing as the only 2 American cities (with Montreal being my out of boundaries hookup) I've ever been to is NYC and Boston, and Boston beat out NYC, I can't see the odds of NYC against any other city anywhere.
I'm sure some people don't agree with me, that NYC is just as lively as ever, but in my eyes, it's a big boring rock downwind from Staten Island's garbage dump. Go too north and it's the Bronx. Go too east and you're looking at nothing but docks and shit. Trust me. There are many amazing places in NYC. There are sights in NYC that are awesome. But visit them, don't live there. They get boring after a while.
I'm sure as well that I've talked up NYC in the past in this diary, but really, step two paces away from this place, look at it from the outside. Leave the island a little and see how much you DON'T have to live like hearded cattle, boxed in by the restraint of overcrowded towns and cities. There's nowhere to go. When I want to leave and go somewhere on Long Island to be alone, chances are that I have to go somewhere pretty far away.
It takes 5 minutes of driving to be alone in Plattsburgh. Within 15 you'll forget civilization even existed.
I guess the whole fast paced life of urbania just rubbed off when I saw how futile it was. Burrowing into the ground and staying where you were born. My parents lived here their whole life. My mom used to live about 2 miles from my house. She's still here. My dad lived in Uniondale. That's only half an hour of driving from here. He's been here forever. I don't want that. I don't need that. I want to be free. This place sucks you down and bleeds you dry. Think of all the bored, apathetic people mundanely pounding out a life here. Think of all the people just trodding through this place, bubbled into their own little shit. Is that happy? Is that content? I don't see it as anything less than giving up. And I take a lot to give up. Trust me.
Enough about this. I'd do tonight injustice to make it seem like I've had a bad night. In fact, this night kicked major ass. I saw Mehr play with the Confidentials, a band that, if they stay together, will be someone you will hear from somewhere down the line on your own. They are that good live. The singer fell and smacked his head on this big pole on the stage and shook it off like it was nothing. Their music is fucking awesome and makes you want to go rip someone's head off. How the fuck could you not want to see that live? Funky hard rock with metal and punk. No one can turn that down.
I got to hang out with Nick Korshin tonight too. He came with Duffy and Garrett to see Mehr. I remember way back how me and Mehr idolized him. The man looked like motherfucking jesus and knew more about everything than we thought possible. One of the best musicians I've heard, his depth of knowledge on things runs deep. One day, we were walking from 7-11 and Nick called to us using a speaker he stole from the Lynbrook train station. He told us he was the voice of god and we fucking believed it. He's since joined the air force, where he shaved his head and looks absolutely nothing like I remember him. And he's the chillest motherfucker I've ever met. Even offered me onion rings. It was damn surreal.
Now I sound like some fucking teeny bopper salivating at the mouth for some pop star. But it's true. I have very few people who I hold an idol status on solely from their personal achievements and to actually hang out with him was a blast. Not to say that hanging out with everyone wouldn't have been fun either. In fact, had Korshin not shown up, I still would have had probably just as fun a night, seeing as I would never have thought in a million years that it would have happened anyway so I wouldn't have been disappointed and missed it. So in the end, all I'm really saying is I had a good time just being with friends and got the pleasure to actually meet someone I admire person to person.
Of course, I'm sure this means all of shit to anyone else. But it's the little things like respect that can make life worth living.
And on a more serious note, boobies.
BMC
What did you just say? - What's he gonna say next?
