2004-04-19 - 1:29 p.m.
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Grim Weeper
CHICAGO (Reuters) - McDonald's Corp. Chairman and Chief Executive Jim Cantalupo died of an apparent heart attack on Monday in Florida and the company named Chief Operating Officer Charlie Bell to replace him as CEO.
Who would have thought that the CEO of McDonald's would have died of a heartattack? Honestly, seeing as his product was the healthiest thing under the sun and all.
I was thinking about something along the lines of this the other day. It amazes me when we hear news that shocks us that never should.
What brought this about? Siegfried and Roy.
I was not horrified to find out Roy was attacked by a tiger. In fact I wasn't even surprised. While it is a terrible moment in his life to be sure, what the hell were you thinking was going to happen when you stick your head into a tiger's mouth 2 times a day for 300 days a year? In the years upon years they did "magic" together, this was the first time I've ever heard of some kind of accident like this. I'd think that a record of one accident out of well close to 3000 performances is a very good ratio.
So when I hear that the man in charge of the company almost single handedly responsible for the obesity of our country far exceeding pleasant levels died of a heart attack, I don't exactly laugh because someone dying isn't all that funny, but I snicker a little. It's like hearing about a proctologist dying of colon cancer. Actually, that's pretty morbid and I think I'll stop this train of thought.
Speaking about stopping trains, it seems like Amtrak can't do that properly either. My what a terrible entry this has all become. Trains flipping over themselves in NYC, burger barons biting the big one and 99 soliders silently disappearing without a trace this month. The only thing I can see everyone focusing on around me is death.
My plans for this evening are to see Kill Bill. The death just doesn't end.
The one thing I'm glad is dead is the winter because it's beautiful outside and I can't wait until I jump out of this building, arms open like a bird's wings, leaping into my car and speeding home so that I can probably end up sitting inside still, ignoring the grace that a beautiful day bestows upon us and opting instead to stare blankly and aimlessly at Final Fantasy Online as if it were real life.
For those of you who do not know, they came out recently with a new Final Fantasy game that exists solely online, meaning all around the world, thousands and maybe millions of people are glued to their screen, beating up sheep and bees for crystals and armor, adding up in the end to a big whole nothing. They're running around in a world created by programmers, a living, thriving world that exists solely on someone's harddrive somewhere, and they are battling the hordes upon hordes of birds and bunny rabbits and this is entertainment. I have been captivated by it for hours on end and let me tell you that it's ridiculous. The graphics are insane, the gameplay is awesome, the story line is great but I just can't deal with the hours applied to this. I've played for close to 40 hours so far. I'd be halfway done with any of the other Final Fantasy games.
I've accomplished nothing in this game so far. If I had to put a percentage to this, I'd say I've played 1% of this game.
40 hours.
40 hours is a work week. 40 hours is enough to change your entire life. 40 hours is enough to build something, to create something, to fly somewhere and see something AND come back again with a story, to fall in nad out of love with someone, to go from filthy rich to just filthy.
Basically, 40 hours is like 1% of my life if I lived to be 45. Which, with trains flipping, burgers being eaten and wars being fought, I can't even guaranty. And if that is the age I die at, I'm only half way there.
My parents turn 50 starting next week. 100 years of experience and knowledge.
The 40 hours I spent on this game is 1% of their life.
I've lost 1% of my parents because I thought that it would be amazing to go kill bees. I thought that missing 1% of my parent's lives is worth paying $12.45 a month so that I can ride a huge chicken and fight giant turtles with swords and funny hats in some mock up bullshit world.
I haven't been married yet. I don't have someone to be 50 with. I don't even have someone to be 23 with and I'm messing around with stupid video games while the world around me is exploding with destruction and turmoil and swallowing us up one by one. Burger tycoons falling to the ground with their hands clutching their hearts. Dozens of commuters jostled out of their lives by a simple track malfunction. War ravaged troops being boxed home like cargo. And here I am, humming along at the pace of dying with no conception that I've missed so much already and I've got even less left to miss. I feel like the stupidest, saddest, sorriest excuse of a human being ever and the worst part is that I'm more active than most people I know.
They don't know they're already dead.
BMC
What did you just say? - What's he gonna say next?
