2001-12-17 - 5:46 p.m.

***

Belmo Vs. Z-100

rrrrrrrrrrrrrAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!

FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK WORK!

I hate office jobs. People ask me why I act the way I do and why I've done what I have with my life. It's so I don't end up in a fucking office job!

But that's what I did today. Don't get me wrong, office people are really nice people. It's a shame for them to be locked into these terrible cells of a shithole called a job, but seriously I love the people where I worked.

Except for one thing.

God bless his soul, this guy Paul is the fucking man, but either he didn't pay attention to the radio while it played or I did too much.

As such, the following is a list of songs that can fuck off and die:

• The Shakira song (the one that goes "my breasts might be small and humble..." yeah that one.)

• Hey Baby by No Doubt (There's no doubt that I want to rip my eyes out of the sockets and cram them into my ears when I hear that song

• That fucking "I'm coming up" Pink bullshit horsecock song (I'm coming up... to find you and beat the shit out of you Pinksock)

• ALL AND EVERY STAIND SONGS (oh you like staind? gofuckyourself. I heard every single one today on the radio and I'm fucking sick and tired of them)

• The Nickelback song ("Never made it as a wiseman..." it really fucking shows, you fucking dolt. This is how you remind me why I stopped listening to radio and why I should learn how to rip someone's adam's apple out with my bare hands)

• K-Ci and JoJo (seeing as all the songs they sing sound the same, fuck them in thier asses. Men can't be that emotional singing and not have to take a gigantic shit)

• The new Mary J Blidge song (didn't you used to smoke crack and slip out the public eye? Don't quit your day job.)

• "I'm real" by J-Ho and Ja Rule (I heard a bunch of 2nd graders sing this song on the train ride down to Albany. For 4 hours. Straight. 12 year olds shouldn't be feeling sexy or need to be comforted when they do.)

For those I have offended, I offer the same response I have offered in the past to those I have offended before you. Go fuck yourself. And if that's too harsh, then just blow it out your ass.

If you had to listen to Z100 all fucking day, you'd know exactly what I mean.

BMC

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