2002-09-06 - 10:09 a.m.
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Big bowl of shit for dinner
Things are aligning weird here.
Our landlord is getting really sketchy on all accounts, from asking us to do things for him that are less than good to the slight increases here and there of visits to the fact that he gave us a filthy house that was robbed of it's washer and dryer and still expects us to pay for the use of a washer and dryer.
I generally don't mind people, I don't care what they do, but when I'm put in that kind of position, especially since we have to hide the cat from him and THAT'S been a pain in the ass as is, I really think that this semester is going to be a big pain in the ass. I really do. I look at my classes and I look at my home life and I look all around me. This semester is going to be a huge throbbing pain in the ass like plunger rape.
Well, that's a bit melodramatic but still, it's gonna suck.
I can't make good decisions sometimes and now is no exception to this fact. I've been inundated (Shpunt's new favorite word) with countless "offers" and I don't know where to go and who or what to do. Fuck, I almost miss the days of the summer where my itnerary was "Wake up for 2 hours of classes. Proceed to drink beer upon return until unable to do so by either lack of beer or lack of liver space."
I also miss being in the dorms a little because now it takes 20 minutes to walk somewhere to see someone instead of 20 seconds to go up a flight of stairs and knock on thier door.
Borrrrrrrrrrrrr-iiiiiiiiiiiing.
My classes are piling up and starting to take a toll on my grade. I haven't done one scrap of homework since I've been here. Not one. Not one sheet of a book has been read, not one sheet of paper has been written on, not one assignment has been completed. I'm just not getting that spark that I had this summer. I'm just not feeling it.
I guess I haven't felt that spark in a while, since at least the last week or so of the summer sessions. By the time I got home, I couldn't write a damn thing or read for more than half an hour without wanting to watch TV or talk online. This summer, I read around 10 books; wrote a movie, 3 short stories, started a novel, wrote countless levels of poetry, wrote over 5 or 6 papers for classes; watched a minimum of 4 hours of TV a day; went on the internet a minimum of 2-3 hours a day. I rode my bike all over this town, from front to back, left to right. I've seen every little street, walked every street I could find, saw sights I'd never see if I just went to school here during the school year.
Now I can't even leave the house and when I'm there, all I do is play guitar and smoke.
I think I'm waiting for something to happen to me to wake me up. It's the only logical explination. I need that big kick in the ass mentally because I'm in a hugely apathetic mood and that's just self-destructive at this point of the semester. Who wants to start things out with a pbbbbbbbbbbbbbt? Not me.
Time to go back into the fray and show 'em what I'm full of.
BMC
What did you just say? - What's he gonna say next?
