2002-11-29 - 7:11 p.m.
*
*
*
HArry Potter can suck on these with his magic
So I'm home and all and it's all very fun. Very very fun. More fun than I expected.
Got to see a lot of old time crew last night at Union Square, at the Pistol Whips CD release party. It also happened to be a Confidentials show, which is Mehr's band. I haven't seen Mehr in a band since I've been in one. Even earlier than that. It was absolutely insanity. There was a catfight at my feet in the middle of the set, Richard Nixon announced the band and the guitarist had to go through the PA after he poured beer all over the head of his half stack. It was fucking glorious. Rock and roll like it should be. Then it turned into rock and funk. Then it just went crazy.
Today, I got to see Harry Potter, in probably the single most comfortable seats I've ever sat in for a movie theater. This after seeing Die Another Day this week in the most uncomfortable theater designed for man.
Harry Potter. Ok. I know the whole story is drenching in mystique, that things are enchanted and they do things "muggles can't explain". But motherfucker. I too can have a story where everything falls into place too perfectly, only people would tell me mine sucked because it wasn't HArry Potter. THE FUCKING CAR???? WHERE THE FUCK DID THE CAR COME FROM? Oh, I see, since it was enchanted, it immediately gets radar and shit to recognize people in trouble. If those fuckers stole me and fucked me up in a tree, I would have driven over those two fucks so the spiders had shit pancakes instead of lumps of shit for dinner.
Ooops, I messed up the story for some people. Don't worry, I didn't ruin the rest of the 15 years the movie took to complete. It's the kind of movie that even a diaper wouldn't help. IF you went to the bathroom in a diaper while watching this movie, you'd need an entire box of diapers.
Aside from Potter NEVER EVER EVER GETTING GIVEN A TROUBLING SITUATION EVER in the movie
*************************
come on, the phoenix? THE PHOENIX?!?!?!? PHOENIX TEARS?!?!?!?! WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY! WHY DID THAT HAVE TO HAPPEN? WAS THE BIRD CRYING BECAUSE HE WAS TRAPPED IN A FUCKING HARRY POTTER MOVIE? WHY GOD OH WHY DID THAT HAVE TO HAPPEN? I seriously doubt the fucking powers of this kid. It just looks to me like he's really fucking lucky, that's all. He doesn't know some crazy spells or crazy anything. He was handed practically everything he got out of situations with by everyone else. MAgic Cloak? Dad's. Magic Sword? Brought by a bird. Magic Car? Can surprisingly drive through a forest. YOU EVER TRY TO DRIVE THROUGH A FOREST? GOOD MOTHERFUCKING LUCK! He was constantly threatened to be expelled. CONSTANTLY. Just because he's got a zig zag on his head, Harry Potter cannot murder. He is incapable of making people almost die. Therefore, let's allow him to break every rule imaginable in this school. Let the new kid walk all over us because he's got a cool scar. Oh, and the bathroom? Does it bother anyone else that the fucking entrance to the evilest spot in the entire castle was a FUCKING BATHROOM? A BATHROOM? I mean, I've been to some pretty disgusting bathrooms, bathrooms I wouldn't even piss in for fear that some uncurable disease will crawl up my piss-stream, but for the love of fuck? The girl's bathroom? Watch out, evil lurks where you shit!
Ooops. Hope you didn't see the movie yet.
*************************
It was a good movie all in all. I can knit pick all I want, but I had a good time just going out with my family and enjoying myself.
I also ate my weight in turkey yesterday and drank enough to be drunk all day long enough to sober up after I ate. Turkey loves beer apparently because it sucked all drunkedness out of my body.
So in closing, belch.
It sounds a lot better than it looks, trust me.
BMC
What did you just say? - What's he gonna say next?
