2002-05-13 - 12:17 p.m.
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God Bless America, Land of that stuff
Between Poetry Slams, and breaking news, I think this has been the funniest time in a while for me.
I just woke up about 15 minutes ago, because celebrating for the poetry slam went later than I imagined, and I decided to look into the news. I distanced myself from the news for a while becuase frankly, I didn't want to hear how many more countries are killing each otehr for no reason while we sit ripping our hair out, counting down the days until World War III starts. But it never lets me down when I see it.
"sometimes truth is stranger than fiction...."
The army has developed a shot for troops in the field that will give the same nourishment as a warm meal. Now you don't have to wait for the food to go directly to your ass.
Dionne Warwick, covering herself in Psychic Friends glory, went and got herself busted for weed. Her psychic friends never saw it coming, it's not like she'd get the "Po po gon bust yo ass" card during her last tarot reading.
It took Bush a week to sign a deal to give farmers over 140 billion dollars in aid. That's probably because it took him that long to figure out how A)big that number is B) how to spell "farmer" correctly C)how to spell George Bush correctly, which everyone knows it's spelled "Douchebag McRetard".
Bush also signed away a bunch of nukes with Russia. It gets rid of about 3/4 of each countries nuclear arsenal. This seems very mcuh unlike Bush until you realize he was told that the way they were getting rid of them was that they were going to be FIRED onto Russia.
Russia's got thier problems too. A huge 240 story dock for one of thier space shuttles collapsed, killing a few people who were working on it. There is no joke I cna give this except:
"How many Russian Cosmoport workers does it take to change a lightbulb? They can't if they're dead."
Ahhh tasteless and wonderful.
A headline on CNN today read "Carter Inside Cuba". Thats pretty close to what they sent him over there for. He went over there to rape them.
Ok, I'm not a political comedian (for obvious reasons) but I'd say that if you turn your head and all the sudden there's another female singer busted for weed and there's an ex-cokehead running around getting rid of nukes and dishing out funds to farmers, there's only one word for it.
America.
BMC
What did you just say? - What's he gonna say next?
