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2002-05-12 - 9:38 p.m.


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Poetry Slammed

VICTORY! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Wow, I haven't felt this fucking triumphant in a long time. Fuck all the horrible things I've felt lately because I am victorious in what I love.

I was on a 1st place team for a poetry slam and I won 11 bucks. And I kicked ass too.

Oh if html could properly portray patting oneself on the back.

I don't normally act this way about shit, but that deserved it. It was the most fun I've ever had competeing in something, especially since there was no real feeling that you had to only worry about competing. I sat and heard some very good poems today and smiled because I got to read some poetry to some people. my slam team mates and I did so well that we won, and I got paid for it, without really any drive for the money. It was like being rewarded for having a good time.

And this has shown a new thing to me: non-competative competativeness. I tried, and I wasn't so worried about winning that I didn't appreaciate what everyone else was doing nor did I get all nervous that I was or wasnt going to win.

Ok enough about that.

School is closing soon for everyone but me. I kind of feel weird about it now, like I wanted to do this all along. Just get it the fuck done with. I've spent my entire time in this educational system bitching about how I want out and how I dont want to be in it anymore and now I can actually do it. I can see the opportunity fucking coming and I'm going to grab it and beat the living shit out of it and laugh proudly as I skin it, waving that diploma skin in the air and yelling like a madman that all that time of being forced under scrutiny (where work isn't work, it's just a chance to tell you how terrible you are so that you force yourself to be different from what you wnat and deserve to be)is dead as fucking dust. I will be free of clutches of grade hunting and will be forced to hunt jobs instead, where I will be trying to kickstart my life and start moving on my own power.

Damn man, it's good to be alive.

BMC

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