Oh no....The inside of Belmo's head...creeeeepy

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2002-10-10 - 7:00 p.m.

"Favro, you fuck.....you're coming with me!"

NOt too much time to spit this out, not too much time to get this down, but I must and I will. My head and heart are bleeding with agony: my head beaten up by a full day of poking and prodding with education, my heart battling fits of depression. I feel awkward and gruesome in my own skin, my shoes don't feel right and I walk like I just learned. I'm spitting cliches like a big cliche spitting machine or a lawn sprinkler hooked up to a bucket of cliches. TZZ TZZ TZZ TZZ TTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT TZZ TZZ TZZ TZZ TZZ TTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT. I'm failing terribly here, my whole world flopping and reeling, thrashing like a fish gasping for air, reaching out for life while I fail slowly and surely. I'm drowning here, I'm flooded. The rains of unattended education and the torrential downpour of unchecked work is stupendous. I wrote everything before this line in the 5 minutes I had a break in Outdoor Writing, while I was messy and upset. You can tell this by the fact that I recreated the sounds a sprinkler full of fail would make. This was dumb of me. In all actuality, I'm not doing well up here and I was full of stress when I wrote that. I never thought a 5 day weekend (well, 4 1/2, because I had one class today, one EXTREMELY LONG AND HUNGOVER class today, but now I'm done) would be so needed, but apparently I've been proven wrong. If I did not do the following last night:

Steal a "Favro for Sherriff" sign, a sign I've wanted all semester long in my living room
A plastic skeleton, which I took from someone's front yard, decapitated in our home, dropped the elbow on and then proceeded mimic the skeleton's severed head giving me...well, head.
Walked all over Plattsburgh in a drunken stupor
played power hour as well as drinking 6 beers before hand, while playing an atrocious game of darts
Buy a beer ball, which is the ammo for everything I just listed

....then for sure, I would have seriously done some harm. To something or someone, who knows. I was tightly wound and I had to let loose. I snapped the strings on both my acoustic and my electric from simply frustrated jamming and I had no other outlet, so the skeleton got a shot in the mouth. Imaginary, I assure you. I'm not THAT lonely....yet. Last night was seriously the funniest thing to happen up here for a while. To be utterly out of my mind going crazy (and that's BEFORE I drank) to becoming completely peaceful and calm, only to wake up with a 10+ beer hangover and go to class anyway is definitely worth the money spent on this. Total Belmo expenditure for a beer ball for the entire weekend: 10 bucks. Shit, a 12 pack is more than 10 bucks and I drank pretty close to one last night. I could have had beer for breakfast today if I wanted to. Of course, I didn't...yet. BMC

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