2002-07-14 - 3:51 p.m.

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"DANCE! TOO MUCH BOOTY IN THE PANTS!

So stop me if you heard this one�

Kids Bop 2�. The end.

That�s the most hilarious joke ever.

As if it wasn�t enough that the music industry caters to teenage angst and sexual frustrations, but now it appears that the music industry (or at least one really sick moneymaking schemer) is applying all that bubble gum pop goodness that is already pretty mature for the teens it is aimed at�and makes it accessible for little kids.

It�s a CD of Pop songs sung by 10 year olds. 10 year olds.

This is especially scary to me, because of one song � J Lo�s booty epic �I�m Real�. Yep, �I�m Real�, the song with the classic line �And when I�m feeling sexy, who�s going to comfort me?� is sung by a group of 10 year olds.

You�d think only sick minds could think something like this up. I�m here to tell you that sick mind is nature.

Riding home on a train from Plattsburgh one time, stopping at Albany to pick up my sister, I heard a class of what had to have been 10 � 12 yearolds AT THE MOST on board singing this song. They sang every single word with not a drop of the meaning behind the words striking any of their minds. And none of the teachers on the trip �

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And this bothers me, because I never had kickass trips like that and here were a bunch of kids on the train, taking a trip somewhere, singing whatever they wanted. At 10 years old. I wish I had that when I was growing up�
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�stopped any of that singing for a second. [retarded]

Please read back on the explanation of the [retarded] sign. Wait, I�ll just tell you. It just means I�m well aware what I said was retarded, but it was true.

As a matter of fact, I think I even told this story before, but I�m too lazy to care where it is. It�s somewhere in the past entries, I can guarantee that. I�d never let something this stupid go by.

Anywho.

It appears that money will allow people to sink to levels no one could have ever imagined ever possible. And it doesn�t look good.

Some of the songs appearing in 10 year old glory are the accursed J Lo song as well as Creed�s �Higher� (showing that its never to early to be down with J.C., and I don�t mean the boy band guy), Whatever-the-name-of-that-band�s �Story of a Girl� (perfect for the age of cooties � swooning over girls) Britney Spears� �She�s so lucky� (because damn, Britney Spears is accessible from all ages) and other assorted pop dribble. If you are interested in a track listing, go to their hokey homepage here and prepare to be dazzled by the filth they�re slinging at kids nowadays.

This just in: Kids Bop 3 is coming your way with a whole slew of pop songs your kids should never hear but parents will buy because kids are singing the songs! I bet you can�t wait to hear:

• Hits from the Bong
  
• The Horny Song
  
• Rump Shaker
  
• I Want to Sex You Up
  
• the �Dance! Too much booty in the pants� song
  
• The Humpty Dance song
  
• DJ BJ singing �It�s Ok that I�m 8 years old, Ima fuck dem hos!�
  
• Eminem�s �Criminal�.

It�s the best CD idea since the Kids of Witney High and only slightly less retarded. [retarded]

BMC

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