2004-06-03 - 1:52 p.m.
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THIS is My space. Not Myspace.
I'm not going to add anything new here. I've already written a ton over at my Myspace.com "blog".
Yes, that's right. Myspace.com.
This coming from the person who shit and pissed all over Friendster. This coming from someone who saw it as an avenue for lonely people to re-affirm their loneliness. And here is hypocritcal little me, rocking a Myspace.com profile and blogging in it no less.
In fact, it really comes as a shock to myself even. Friendster was just this creepy thing to me, full of people just waiting to stalk each other and send fake pictures of celebrities as their portrait picture. If it is a real picture, it is most likely a picture of their eyes with the camera shoved right in their face or it's them in a group shot and you can't tell it's them that has the puke all over their shirt or that they aren't the hot one in the shot. And people oversimplify themselves too much in their profiles or go the opposite route and write a simple autobiography.
And it's so good to see that nothing has changed. It's all still there. Same "Where am I located?" fields. Same "Search me by my interests and dislikes" kind of association. There is even a Hot Or Not ripoff section, a Games section and, as stated above, a built in blog for all your emo babbling needs.
I'll kindly remind you again that I am aware of the hypocrisy in that statement and the fact that I most likely mispelled hypocrisy. Isn't it hypocracy. That doesn't look right either and it probably is. And that comes from an English major.
Sorry. A Bachelors of Science in English. Even worse.
Regardless, I did it for the same reason I subscribe to online dating mailings, the same reason I read diaryland diaries or other blogs. I did it for the same reason I look through people's online photo albums and the same reason I visit band pages, personal homepages, organization homepages, fan pages and other excrement shot out of the internet's asshole at all times.
Because it's interesting.
It's interesting to see it all. It interests me to see humanity pouring it's heart out over the internet. Hell, I do it too. I do it RIDICULOUSLY thoroughly here. In fact, I've gotten in more trouble and had more heartache from this diary than anything else I've done in my life. More people have hated me, been angry with me, stopped trusting me and outright banned me from their life from this than any time before it. And yet I'll still write here, still speak my mind because it eases me. It makes me feel good knowing that I've kept no secrets, that I've laid it all on the table. Even if you don't know me, even if you know me and don't care or whatever. I may not reveal my deepest darkest secrets (of which there are barely any if at all and aren't even worth it to explain them) but I doubt anyone does on the internet, despite this outpouring of humanity reaching for each other with digital fingers.
I mean, if you wanted to, you could find someone's diaryland diary, their email information (usually has some kind of info about them), their Myspace.com or Friendster listing, their websites they run and a ton of everything else from them all on the internet. And never meet them. And know them like they were your own children.
But this digital photocopy of someone's life - just how accurate or complete is it? Can you guess how kind someone is by the nature of their online life? Can you find a decent person, a truly decent person online and off, from a profile full of information they, in good faith, provide truthfully? How close to the person is their online persona? Even when talking to them on instant messenger programs, a completely faceless and anonymous medium, can you be so sure that even with a homepage to look up information about them, a networking directory full of likes and dislikes, a profile on various online services and their tone of voice in instant messages - can you tell me that you know anyone from the internet? Can you honestly tell me that despite all of us desperately clawwing through anonymity through all of that digital static that we've gotten any closer to our true selves? If you did a search for any pictures of me on the internet, you'd probably think me a batshit insane retard. If you've read these words, you'd think me a loud mouthed, hot tempered asshole who barks at every nuance he sees.
Well, that's pretty close to it actually, but I don't think you'd see anything else in me besides that and I at least think better of myself than that. Not much, but some.
And that is why I do this. I look for people I know and find out how close to them I can see their internet them go. How remote are they from real life in their fake life. And for people I don't know, I like to see just how they want the world to see them. I get interested in seeing women on dating services talk about looking for a nice guy this and just want to have fun that. Guess what. You're so full of shit it's coming out of your mouth and into the internet. No one likes a nice person. Not one. Not guys. Not girls. If I wanted consistency in a relationship where I knew someone was going to be there for me at all times and be nothing but kind and caring, I'd visit a pet shop and spin until I land on an animal that doesn't shit too much. And I doubt I'm alone. While I would love someone to be there for me whenever I need them to be as well as have them be true and loyal to me as I would do the same for them, I know that if I had someone who was an asshole and pushed me around but made me happy as hell, I'd stay with them despite what they are doing.
I already did so with one girlfriend and it took me a year and a half to go "wow, I'm a fucking retard."
It's not just girls. Guys too. In fact, if you are human, you are automatically destined to forever chase something you could easily have but never want to catch. Go outside. You'll find a ton of people you could date. Anyone in fact, male or female. Forget Gay or Straight or Bi. Think Person. There are billions of us and you can love any one of them at any time. You could be IN love with them and want to make love to them and in the end, even if they were perfect for you, the chance of you treating the perfect person for you properly are highly set against you. The odds that you find the perfect soul mate and treat them as they should be treated are so astronomically against you that you might as well advertise for it over the internet, slap Katie Holnes old headshot up in your profile and lie about your age, weight and even sex if that's the way you swing.
You'd have just as good a chance of getting exactly what you want anyway.
BMC
What did you just say? - What's he gonna say next?
