2003-04-22 - 5:44 p.m.

***

This is just too much

So I�m sitting watching television this afternoon and I watch some Spring Break footage on MTV, with many half dressed college girls holding bong-like glasses filled with chopped fruit, every booze you can think of and probably about 5 roofies and they�re all making out, with each other, at the same time, in a sort of triangle dancing of tongues in an orgy, completely happy to be licking each other�s faces and slobber sticky jungle juice and the goo/slobber from many of the other girls/guys/both/both a guy and a girl all over each other. And I turn to TBS and see some fucked up stupid teenage movie and there�s some kissing scene there between two girls. They hit each other with their tongues and made out like crazy, rubbing hands and shit all over each other sensually while breathing heavy out the nose and huffing like someone dumped cold water on them and they went into shock. And then Devil�s Advocate was on too and that has women making out in it too. I didn�t watch until it came on, but I�ve seen the movie before and they have a scene in that movie where a bunch of women are making out right before they see Keanu Reeves when he walks in and stands there all �I know kuung fu� like. Then I watched VH1 Hits or whatever that 9th out of 15 MTV channels I get from this stupid Podunk upstate digital cable company and that t.A.T.U or whatever band comes on and they�re shaking their ass in rain in school girl uniforms and making out and SINGING about it and like REALLLLLY making out and shit. This is like hot ass tongue getting hit by raindrops, crowd of poor Russian looking people standing behind a barbed wire fence watching on, upskirt panty shot on Catholic School girl uniform, techno/electronic/chick group/pop/dance soundtrack in the background kind of shit. And after the Simpsons, I go to CNN to see what new holes we�re punching into the ground lately and the news headline was �ABC DAYTIME SHOW TO BREAK GROUND WITH FIRST EVER LESBIAN KISS ON DAYTIME TELEVISION THIS WEDNESDAY�. And I shouted �HOORAY! HOORAY! THE NEWS IS FIXED!!! WE CAN WATCH THE NEWS AGAIN!!! THEY�RE STARTING TO GIVE UP ON SCARE TACTIC REPORTING AND WAR PROPAGHANDA BULLSHIT! WE DON�T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT IT BECAUSE DAYTIME TELEVISION WILL HAVE LESBIANS KISSING EACH OTHER AND EVERYONE HAS TO KNOW THIS!� And then I remembered that Daytime Television meant soap operas, the softest core porn you can get before you start to read the Bernstein Bear�s and thinking dirty.

After a whole afternoon of watching lesbian activities, who cares about some soap opera tight lipped lipstick lesbian smooch?

If they even tongue kissed, they�d have to put a black bar over it.

BMC

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