2002-01-06 - 9:47 p.m.
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The bio is done
Well, the "bio event of century" went off without a hitch. Surprisingly, it only takes 20 minutes for your friends to make you into a crossdressing, transsexual clog dancer who teaches animals in the Neverland Ranch how to moonwalk. Out of the sake of everyone involved, I'm not gonna reproduce the entire conversation, because it just wouldn't be fair to them, but this is the official bio:
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(As told by 7 people who have never met each other, for the most part)
Michael Belmonte was discovered in a Harlem sewer by a homeless jazz saxophonist and his wife. They then moved to a small little cottage just outside the painted green hills of Ireland, were he spoke the tales of the leprechauns at a young age, for whom he danced with during a full moon. He discovered his love for writing when he'd get locked in his bathroom for days, but he discovered his talent for poetry shortly after peeing in his pants in the 2nd grade. Ironically he also discovered his talent for making zoupa de pesce at the same time.
After a near-death expierience with an African elephant, which wandered to his peaceful home in Ireland, he took up the art of clog dancing. Clog dancing wasn't the most masculine of hobbies, and Belmo was driven away from his beloved Irish home to the monasteries of Tibet where he learned the ways of Buddhism. After discovering his true self in buddhism, he decided clog dancing and poetry was his true love, and he decided to dress as a female.
He now lives in Paraguay, in a small little shack by the ocean,where he speaks to seagulls and chases squirrels to achieve his daily exercise and get a nutritious meal. He cleans rhino cages at a nearby Zoo for a living.
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There were other ideas I wanted to incorporate, but I felt that this was good enough and besides, I think it's bad enough that I dress as a woman and clog dance.
I just hope that this guy accepts it.
BMC
What did you just say? - What's he gonna say next?
