2002-11-04 - 1:23 a.m.
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Halloween fright on a friday night
"He's Jam Master Jay, the big beat blaster / He gets better cause he knows he has to / In '84 he'll be a little faster / And only practice makes a real Jam Master..."
WHO THE FUCK IN THE WHAT IN THE HOW DID THAT MOTHERFUCKING HAPPEN? WHO IS THAT IGNORANT THAT YOU KILLMOTHERFUCKING JAM MASTER JAY? There are people in this world that killing would be a bad thing and then there's fucking the stupidest thing in the world to do. The Pope, an endangered species, a baby and Jam Master Jay. What does this list all have in common? YOU DON'T FUCKING KILL THEM!
That being said, I'd say this was the greatest weekend in possibly fucking ever.
I'm sorry to put the memory of Jam Master Jay on the back burner for a while, seeing as things like this don't happen everyday, but still I'd have to say that I'd remember this Halloween not for a rap legend dying so much as a house shaken at it's foundations.
Halloween, although the night for ghastlies and ghoulies, was not so much scary as much as boring. I had fun in the beginning of the night, but long waits and running around and eventually giving up was all I could do (although, I was too busy looking for too much to do to actually sit down and do something.) I was a hippie, because I have no money and because when you're worried about everything else in the world besides a costume, you end up throwing on a 2 year old wig and a tie on your head, with a Jimi Hendrix tye die shirt and you call it a day. I don't lack imagination, I lack time.
But, Thursday, however good or bad it was for everyone in the end, exploded on fucking Friday. Holy shit did shit explode. Me and Shpunt beat the fuck out of the house, cleaning it all fucking day, getting ready and prepared for the party we were getting together with the house. Apparently, you can buy everything you need for less than 50 bucks for an all out party at the mini-malls here. And for the first time in I don't know how long I had chips and dip at a party. Because I bought them. Fuck all that shit, I haven't had snacks at a party in years and if I can be at a party in my pajamas becasue its my house, I can fucking eat salsa and chips at my fucking house. People seem to be so uppity at some parties I've been to, afraid that chilling out by a bowl for a few minutes to eat damn salsa so you don't pass out on another kind of bowl later on isn't important. EAT DAMN YOU! That's not healthy protein shakes you're pounding away! It's utter poison in a red and white tin can! You drink enough of that, you get poisoned, hence the name "alcohol poisoning".
Ok, that's enough about the snacks.
But the party was more than just a bowl full of Tostitos. We started up around 8, although I wasn't done preparing shit. I wanted the basement to get fixed up, because it's filthy as shit down there and full of garbage. I cut open garbage bags...
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...which, if you are not aware by now, are the greatest invention known to man. Not only does it carry garbage neatly away (it's in the title: bag of garbage) but they can be made use of in a variety of ways. I've made many interesting things with garbage bags. Dresses, bike covers, scary monsters, sleds, sleeping bags, curtains, a bag full of water I hosed down the kids at camp with and ...
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I made a wall out of them, to give a creepy halloween feel amd to block away all the garbage. Plus, I bought a skeleton whose eyes light up. Spooky. We put christmas lights and abeirut table in the basement. I did not lose the entire night. Shpunt lost even less.
It started off catastrophous, which I've just been told is not a word, but I guess now it is. It was bad. I put 90 bucks towards this party myself, everyone else chipping in what they could. We stood to lose a lot of money with a half drunken keg of Labatts.
Yeah, we got Labatts. None of that horseshit Busch keg cheapo shit. If I'm drinking in a house I can sit down on the toilet in because I wake up every morning and pee there, I can fucking drink Labatts in that fucking house. I was scared, but didn't care because eventually, at least the people I wanted to see would get there and it would all be ok.
It was even better than that.
Although it was a mixed blessing, the save on the night came in the form of Erin. She brought some bands who played that night at the college center. Some as in 3, and they brought some and some came to see them and we brought some and some jsut showed up and that sum came out to a party.
Some shit, huh?
Only it was a bunch of that. Shit. IT sucked, because although we all had a good time overall, all of the booze that we bought got drunk and the jello shots got stolen from the fridge by a bunch of assholes who asked me a shitload of times when they were coming out, when they'd be ready.
So they could steal them.
The BOOZE! The one thing you don't take from Belmo. The one thing you go "Uhhhhh, this is not my boose, it's Bel...ok I'll put this back." DO NOT DRINK MY BOOZE! This was like 5 small bottles and like two quarter full huge bottles STOLEN! I had not one drop of my gin, the gin I bought. Some peckerdick shitface thought it would be funny to take my gin and my tonic water and make himself a drink. I wish I could have caught him too. OH CHRIST THERE'D BE A BODY COUNT, because they took all my fucking booze. The bands treated my house like shit, violating every code of Belmo and treating my friends like nothing but shit. As if they were rock stars and we weren't good enough for them. All my booze. I stole a flyer from the cafeteria and if I see any of them again in life, I'll crush them. Some of them were chill, others...
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like one kid who asked if I could let him be DJ and then later tried to tell me that I should just be cool and let him do his fucking job. He fucking yelled at MANDY. MANDY CAN WALK AROUND IN HER PAJAMAS TOO! SHE LIVES HERE! You're some fuckface dickwad from a band I've never heard who played for 40 kids tonight and you want to vent your show balls on me???!?!? In all my shit I've ever done, when I've played someone's house or venue or anything and I was somewhere far from home, a guest in someone elses house, I stillllll have yet to tell someone in whoever's house that was, if they lived there or not, that they should just "chill out and let me do what I wnat to do". EVER! That kid was lucky I was fucking drunk as shit, because if I had my chance to toss him on his face, I would have. And there would have been thunder behind each blow. Shit, fuck an ambulance, call this fucking kid a hearse. Don't shit in my house. Ever.
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...were less than polite.
Although to tell the truth, I had the most fun just being with the crew. We were lost in a sea of people who we didn't know, we stuck together and had our fun around these people.
The thing that bothered me the most, after the booze, was that they tried to come in 25 deep and not pay. Bad Erin. Bad. That's horseshit. Don't bring homeless people into my house. They want to get drunk, they pay. Even bums buy thier beers in brown bags. I know how the road gets, I know how bands have to sleep in vans or whereever they can find help. But I don't even know these people and you want to let them empty our keg, eat our jello shots, take over my house, be a dick, steal things from us and wait...FOR FREE? Shit, someone stop the keg becasue this beer is tainted. I'm fucking hallucinating.
It's not that I'm not hospitable. I am, I try very hard to be. I try to see to every one of my guests pleasures. If they're thristy, feed them drinks, if they're hungry feed them food. I help friends out as much as possible, but even people I hated to ask for money at least gave 3-4 bucks. Shit, most of them I jsut gave cups to.
I think I've passed making the point a few paragraphs ago.
That's the whole thing though, it was plus and minus simultaneously. It's like someone trying something they find dirty and still find enjoyment from it. Like cleaning out a clogged sink drain so you dont have to clean dishes in filthy water. Or kinky midget monkey sex. You know, either or. The party was just fucking nuts and I'm glad it's over. The house has changed dramatically since then, with some decoration ideas sticking as standard issue setup now. It was great.
Yesterday was a blur and I don't remember much of what went on becasue much of it was sitting around doing dick all and jsut relaxing after all the drama that went on. Oh but more drama happened last night too. Just nothing that directly affected me. I feel like I can't go somewhere without a conflict, like walking around the Middle East or something.
And today I ate 40 buffalo wings.
Score.
BMC
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