2003-11-28 - 3:08 p.m.
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The Atkin's Diet or How I Lost Everything to Meat
A quick one and then I gotta go back to work....
Can someone explain the Atkin's diet to me?
About a month ago, my parents came back from California when they went out with their friends. One of them lost a bunch of weight on the Atkin's diet and so my parents were like "ca-ching! time to go on the Atkin's diet."
Before that, my dad had cholesterol so high he could kill a small child with the fat in his bloodstream. He went to get some way to get it down, all the meds and whatnot, and went on a strict diet prohibiting anything good to eat in our house, which resulted in the entire fridge and food cabinet becoming the healthiest food supply in the world. He stopped going to King Kullen and started going to Trader Joes, which is a health nut store where you can buy everything ever made in the world as far as food, only this time they made is all special and jacked the price up a buttload.
So we went healthy in my house for a while, eating whole wheat breads and non-fat this, low fat that, no taste no texture anonymous food that fills you up without enjoying it.
Fast forward to now and the man makes himself bacon and sausages everyday for breakfast. We eat steak like we have a grant in the beef industry. I couldn't even get them to buy crappy meat and now we're eating entire herds of cattle for dinner.
I understand that carbohydrates are the new nutrional communists and everyone can't wait to stop eating breads and other goodies because some crazy Dr. somewhere went "hey, we don't need carbs! Let's eat meat like it's air!"
They make hotdogs and hamburgers without the buns now. I've never seen such a thing happen in my house unless we run out of buns and bread. Of course, it's a bacon cheeseburger with no bun, so THAT makes total sense...
I'm happy about the sudden return of bacon in my house. However, when it comes time to figure out what's for dinner, pizza is flat out of it. Pasta is not an option, unless it's the cardboard no carb pasta. Potatoes, breads and all the other carb heavy shit is gone. My parents even drink more wine now that they can't have a beer or two with their dinner.
Somehow, everything has gone from crazy to stupid in the diet flow in my house and I'm kind of puzzled how a man battling cholesterol can stuff his face full of all the bacon he wants and call it a diet.
Ok, back to work.
BMC
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