2004-05-09 - 11:18 p.m.
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THE DEVIL IN DIS EYES
"Well I saw you with your hands above your head,
spinnin� around, trying not to look down
but you did and you fell, hard on the ground
you stumbled around for a good ten minutes
and I said that I�ve never seen anyone look so dumb before
but you laught and said �I still know how to turn you an though�
you are the only one who
drags me kicking and screaming trough fast dreams
and you are the only one who
knows exactly what I need
And i problably forgot to tell you this,
like that time i forgot to tell you about that scar,
remember how uncomfortable that made you feel?
See you�re not what I expected
but you�re the only one who know how to handle me
you�re such a great kisser, and I know that you agree
And you are the only one who
who drags me kicking and screamning trough fast dreams
and you are the only one who
know exactly what I mean
I hope you can forgive me for that time
when I put my hand between your legs
and said it was small, �cause it�s really not at all
I guess there�s just a part of me that likes to bring you down
just to keep you around, �cause the day
you that you realize how amazing you are
you�re gonna leave me
You are the only one who
holds my hair back when I�m drunk and get sick
you are the only one who
knows exactly what I mean
And you are the only one who
drives me kicking and screamning trough fast dreams
you are the only one who
knows exactly what I need
exactly what I need
I saw you with your hands above your head
spinning around, trying not to look down
but you did and you fell, hard on the ground"
What you have just read is her
lyrics.
She is Maria Mena. Meet her.
She has been given a record contract.
She has been allowed to record the preceding lyrics, duplicated them into millions of discs, package them into cases with artwork and sell them to you.
This is unacceptable.
If you could see my brain right now, it is probably doing this
Look at her.
No. Closer.
No. Closer.
There. There. See? I told you. The devil. That's why this is happening.
Wait, I didn't tell you?
Ok, let me tell you.
This is music today. I'd give you the MP3 of this song but I'd probably be arrested by the RIAA within seconds and I'm not going to jail for such a paltry song.
Go find it on Kazaa or maybe check your local dumpster. I'm sure that you can put any garbage into your CD and it would sound pretty close to this.
I was watching MC Battle II on MTV2 and in between commercials, MTV decided to show this video on Advanced Warning and...
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Let me address something right now. I get a few emails from people who have read me bashing MTV and then I talk about something on MTV, obviously signifying I've watched the stupid thing. I have basic cable and as such, I have a maximum 10 channels worth watching. Many of them are between channels 50 and 60 and I'm extremely lazy. Comedy Central is on 50 and Fuse is on 56 - 2 of the illustrious Only 10 Stations Worth a Goddamn On TV. To go watch a video during a Comdey Central commercial break on either Fuse or every so often BET (despite me not being black) I have to go through both of the MTVs, VH1 and E!. This leads for some undesirable effects in my television watching - namely the "wuhduhfuh" effect. The wuhduhfuh effect is simply when you pass something that peaks your interest not because you enjoy it, or even that it entertains you, but simply because you go "what the fuck is this shit?" and you end up looking at it long enough to want to stick a gun in your mouth. IF you fail to pull the trigger, you can learn from these moments and find out that there's a lot of shit out there you are safe to ignore and now that you're familiarized with this stuff, you can safely ignore it. So I'll flip through these stations, find some gaping sore in the world poking out at me and feel compelled to absolutely tear it a new one. That's why you see words here, that's why those horrid pictures are there and that's why...
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I'm glad they called the show Advanced Warning.
I was prepared for the worst.
I understand that they called it Advanced Warning to show off "Upcoming Hot Bands We Will Shove Down Your Throats". I understand that they pick someone who is destined to be Bjork weird enough to garner attention and then they will proceed to play absolutely zero videos anymore and prevent anyone who was Advanced Warned from enjoying what they were warning you about.
Hell, MTV2 is supposed to be all videos and MC Battle II was on MTV2 and Advanced Warning was on MTV. They are playing videos on MTV again and... oh wait, Real World is on now. Sorry, I thought they went back to doing that again.
Regardless.
This was the video they decided you must go out and throw money at a clerk so that they can shove it in your mouth and you can spit it out into a CD player and become mentally numb for an hour on dribble. This is a commercial for the album.
The video is a bunch of close up shots of her face and some random her lying on her back and floating well, Bjork weird style over gravel.
And the whole time she's singing songs about her ex-boyfriend's penis being big but she called it small and you hold my hair when I puke and I love you for it.
That's the gist of the song.
You big dick wonder you. Hold my hair like the he-man epidomy of big dick masterfulness as I vomit and you spin in circles and fall on the floor.
Now.
I realize some of these lyrics must be symbolic. Shit, I have a Bachelors of Science in English that tells me that I understand that words have meanings behind their original meanings. I'm no stranger to metaphor or hyperbole.
But tell me there is deeper meaning to this song than "I tried to be deeper than Poe and failed" and I will laugh at you.
Then cry because they sell this shit as music.
BMC
What did you just say? - What's he gonna say next?
